I’m a woman. And I like other women. Especially naked ones. Ergo it can be assumed that I’d love lesbian porn. Logical right?
Have you ever actually sat and watched so-called lesbian porn though? There’s some typically cheesy scene with two of the most hetero looking ladies imaginable, complete with beanstalk bodies, long painted nails and so much make-up you can barely make out their over-the-top facial expressions. For a good 5 minutes or so they tentatively kiss and touch each other with so much timidity that one can only assume they will literally die if they get too into it.
Cue the buff man. Into the room he struts, witnesses the supposedly sapphic scene unfolding in front of him, and of course joins in. Because this is what would happen in reality. I know when I’m in bed with my lady, as soon as a dashing man storms into our bedroom unannounced we would naturally invite him to join us. That’s just how we lesbians roll, right? Sure...
Where is the real lesbian porn?!
Now I’ve been thorough enough to do some research on this in hopes of finding that mythical lesbian porn that is made by lesbians and for lesbians. Me and T had a little search together a while ago actually. Now T was yet to have the pleasure of being introduced to the world of online porn, so I felt it was my duty as her girlfriend to share this beautiful experience with her. Who knows, maybe it would be a nice little mood-setter ;)
After a spot of Googling we stumbled across what actually looked like a promising website. A nice little site specifically advertising its contents as dyke porn featuring actual real-life lesbians made specifically for our kind of people.
Quite frankly, we were both just kind of grossed out. In their defence, the porn did feature actual lesbians, judging by the number of typical looking dykey lesbians who actually knew how to handle a woman without grimacing. Which was great. No silicone-pumped blonde bimbos with long fingernails that look like they would massacre your vag.
Much to our disappointment (or at least mine) this was not hot porn. If anything, it almost made me question the appeal of gay sex. Apparently, even if real lesbians are brought in front of the camera to do their thing, there is still no hot lesbian porn.
It does not exist. Fact.
So I have no choice but to come to the conclusion that if we lesbians want to enjoy a bit of girl-on-girl action before bedtime, we will have to put up with the movies filmed solely for the pleasure of men.
But now I turn to you, internet world. If any of you are aware of anyone who has managed to crack the code to good lesbian porn, do share and I will happily eat my words. And then watch some good porn.