Sunday, 2 October 2011

Fast and (not so) loose

So me and R are thinking of moving out of our shared house next year. Just getting a nice little place for the 2 of us. 

It’s nothing to do with our housemates here, though they have yet to realise the existence of fairy soap.

It’s just that me and R lived alone in the house for a month before they moved in and it was rather lovely, if I do say so myself. 

Now me and R have been together for 6 months. By the time we move in to our own home we will have been together for over a year.  When we start looking for a house we will have been together for around 9 months. When my Mother starts asking where I’m going to live next year, we will have been together for 7½ months…which isn’t going to go down well. 

I am a grown lady, yet I still worry about telling my (slightly homophobic) Mother that I am moving in with my girlfriend.  She gave a lecture to me pretty much every other day about the perils of moving too fast in a relationship since she found out I was living with R this year, even though 2 other people are sharing it with us, and we have separate rooms.

Sometimes she adds hopeful little comments at the end like, “What if you meet someone else?”


I won’t. No one else will put up with things like this

But how do you explain to a 40-something die hard hetero that, for a lesbian relationship, me and R are going at a snail’s pace (not in a bad way, I hasten to add)?

Everyone knows the joke: “What does a lesbian bring on a second date?” “A U-Haul” (“What does a gay man bring on a second date?” “What’s a second date?” ahahaha…sorry) and I never thought that the crazy fast paced lesbian relationship stereotype was true, until I apparently became part of the proof for it.

Much as we all want equality with the straights with regards to marriage etc, it’s obviously going to be different.


And when 2 ladies get their good selves together, there seems to be something of a dash for the commitment finish line. Not that I’m stereotyping all gays out there or anything…

But all my lady-gay friends that I’ve spoken to about moving in with R haven’t batted an eye, where as the heteros all gasp slightly and say something relating to not needing to rush.

But yes…yes we do.

When you can’t even answer your bedroom door because your housemate gets grossed out and won’t talk to you when you respond by poking your head round the side to hide your naked pre/post sex shame…you should move out.


Anyway, I don’t know when to tell the B’s about our departure next year. It’s especially bad timing as B1 has just broken up with her boyfriend of a year and doesn’t really have many close friends that she could move in with next year.

Sad times.

So what do we do? It seems ridiculous to put off moving in for another year due to B1’s lack of social skills and B2 hanging out my dry and unwashed clothes from the machine because she “thought it was finished” isn’t something I wish to grow accustomed too.




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