Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Perfect Gentleman

I’ve never really had many male friends, not in my adult life at least. Call me a massive dyke, but I just prefer to surround myself with the company of lovely ladies. Okay, occasionally gay men too, but not so much the hetero boys.

However, I recently took a job at a gym which, naturally, is full of blokes. Almost all of the staff I work with are buff, testosterone-ridden men. I don’t mind this. In fact it’s kind of refreshing to have the company of men for a few hours every week – they’re kinda funny beings you know?

However there is something I have noticed lately. Ever since the boys discovered my preference for the fairer sex. They treat me a bit differently from the other girls.

They treat me as if… I was one of the guys. (ironic image source)

It’s a little strange really. Sometimes I feel like I’m a fly on the wall spying on ‘the males’ in their natural habitat, something I have never before been invited to do. I must admit, I had previously wondered what a group of men talk about when there are no ladies in the vicinity – I assumed it would be nothing but girls, cars and football.

As it turns out… I was right.

It’s a bit tedious really. Thankfully they don’t include me in discussions of football and Ferraris, for which I am very grateful. But the girls? Oh I hear a little too much about girls. I was fortunate enough to be part of a conversation with two of the boys, in which one cheeky chap was relaying the tale of the previous evening where he had met a charming Spanish student. The romantic, heartfelt speech went a little like this:

“… and then I walked her back to her flat”.
“So did you bang her?”
“Yeah mate. Twice”.
*high fives friend*
*turns to high five me*

Uh excuse me? I’m thrilled that you successfully “banged her” – Kudos - but I’m not joining in this macho camaraderie. Okay we both like girls, but that by no means makes me one of the guys. Nor does it make me feel compelled to high five your accomplishment. No one high fives me every time I get lucky with T.

Maybe it’s not an accomplishment deserving of praise when you’re in a long-term relationship. Sad times.

It doesn’t end with intimate details about their recent relations with “sluts”, as they so fondly refer to their latest conquests. Oh no. Every time an even remotely attractive girl walks into the building, I’m constantly being nudged and asked if “I would”. No Sir, I would most certainly not, because I’m rather fond of my girlfriend and would certainly not go anyway near than bleach-blonde, orange-skinned straight girl.

(I feel I should add a disclaimer – I do not think all straight girls take on this appearance, but many of the girls so kindly brought to my attention at work do).

It’s an unusual phenomenon really. As a lesbian, I am suddenly treated as one of the lads, and I have the delightful privilege of being involved in their boyish banter of babes and bonking. I find myself wondering, are the men at my workplace one of a kind, or are all lesbians accepted into the folds of fellas?

Has anyone else experienced this?
- R


  1. Hmm, interesting. I have no male friends really so no idea if they would treat me differently upon finding out I'm a lesbian, and I'm not about to announce it at work, although some of the women know I bat for the other team.
    Gross about the high-fiving. Men are so weird.

  2. I found this to be very true! I recently went on a trip with many more guys than girls and as soon as they found out I was a lezzie, they all just treated me like another guy. I actually had a lot of fun watching males in their 'natural habitat' :)

  3. I just came out to my best friend, a straight male, now whenever we go out he's always asking me which of the girls I'd go for.

  4. I am the only female chef in a kitchen full of boys (most definitely not men!) and I just find them amusing. Constantly trying to out do eachothers stories, they may as well just measure the size of their penises to see who wins!

    Must Say though that I love the banter. Mainly because I can out do any of their stories and I feel that I can educate them about women, because lets face it, they have no idea! Plus the look on their faces when you say the word period; priceless!

  5. In my experience this is 100% true. I have many straight male friends and even though I err on the femmier side of androgyny I am always treated like one of the guys, to the point where I am the only girl invited to traditional guys nights and I can actually see how differently they act when a straight girl is present. It's all a bit surreal