I’ve never really had many male friends, not in my adult life at least. Call me a massive dyke, but I just prefer to surround myself with the company of lovely ladies. Okay, occasionally gay men too, but not so much the hetero boys.
However, I recently took a job at a gym which, naturally, is full of blokes. Almost all of the staff I work with are buff, testosterone-ridden men. I don’t mind this. In fact it’s kind of refreshing to have the company of men for a few hours every week – they’re kinda funny beings you know?
However there is something I have noticed lately. Ever since the boys discovered my preference for the fairer sex. They treat me a bit differently from the other girls.
They treat me as if… I was one of the guys.
reformingbaptist.blogspot.com (ironic image source)
It’s a little strange really. Sometimes I feel like I’m a fly on the wall spying on ‘the males’ in their natural habitat, something I have never before been invited to do. I must admit, I had previously wondered what a group of men talk about when there are no ladies in the vicinity – I assumed it would be nothing but girls, cars and football.
As it turns out… I was right.
It’s a bit tedious really. Thankfully they don’t include me in discussions of football and Ferraris, for which I am very grateful. But the girls? Oh I hear a little too much about girls. I was fortunate enough to be part of a conversation with two of the boys, in which one cheeky chap was relaying the tale of the previous evening where he had met a charming Spanish student. The romantic, heartfelt speech went a little like this:
“… and then I walked her back to her flat”.
“So did you bang her?”
“Yeah mate. Twice”.
*high fives friend*
*turns to high five me*
Uh excuse me? I’m thrilled that you successfully “banged her” – Kudos - but I’m not joining in this macho camaraderie. Okay we both like girls, but that by no means makes me one of the guys. Nor does it make me feel compelled to high five your accomplishment. No one high fives me every time I get lucky with T.
Maybe it’s not an accomplishment deserving of praise when you’re in a long-term relationship. Sad times.
It doesn’t end with intimate details about their recent relations with “sluts”, as they so fondly refer to their latest conquests. Oh no. Every time an even remotely attractive girl walks into the building, I’m constantly being nudged and asked if “I would”. No Sir, I would most certainly not, because I’m rather fond of my girlfriend and would certainly not go anyway near than bleach-blonde, orange-skinned straight girl.
(I feel I should add a disclaimer – I do not think all straight girls take on this appearance, but many of the girls so kindly brought to my attention at work do).
It’s an unusual phenomenon really. As a lesbian, I am suddenly treated as one of the lads, and I have the delightful privilege of being involved in their boyish banter of babes and bonking. I find myself wondering, are the men at my workplace one of a kind, or are all lesbians accepted into the folds of fellas?
Has anyone else experienced this?