Friday, 14 September 2012

Sex on Fire

I’ve read/heard a fair bit of “lesbian safe sex” lately. I don’t really know why. Maybe someone somewhere is going on a bit of a gay sexual health spree. Who knows? But from what I know, safe lesbian/bisexual sex basically consists of gloved hands, condoms on sex toys and the good old dental dam. Sexy stuff right?

Now. I’m going to share something intimate with you guys.

I don’t practice safe sex.


Or not. No gasps? No, didn’t think so. Because the prospect of two women having sex without any form of protection is not unheard of. In fact, it’s basically the norm. It’s just not the same as a man and a woman having unprotected sex – there are just more consequences to think of in that situation!

Lesbian safe sex, in terms of a condom-equivalent, is basically the dental dam. I’ve known about the existence of dental dams since I was 16, when I officially joined the gay world. And not until then mind – we certainly weren’t taught about these little contraptions in sex education in school.

On the off-chance that anyone reading this is unsure, a dental dam is basically a little square of rubber that you use as a barrier to give your beloved one (or not-so-beloved one, as the case may be) a bit of oral pleasure. So, you’re essentially licking a sheet of rubber. Doesn’t sound too appealing does it? Which is probably why they tend to be flavoured (or at least all of the ones I have encountered have been).

As far as I’m aware, dental dams aren’t exactly widely distributed. In fact the only place I have ever seen them was at the LGBT youth group I attended when I was a tiny teen gay. So the fact that they’re so scarce makes it hardly surprising that I have never met a lesbian who uses them, as far as I’m aware.

I must admit, I have had a little play with a dental dam once. A previous partner and me decided we may as well give it a whirl since our youth group had so kindly provided them. I think the dental dam lasted about 30 seconds before we both realised what an unpleasant mission it was to perform oral sex whilst shoving your tongue through a sheet of latex. Not fun at all. But by all means, feel free to give it a whirl for yourself. If not useful for sex, they are super super stretchy!

This got me thinking. How would I feel if I went home with a lady (in a scenario where I’m not in a long-term relationship) and she demanded that we use a dental dam or throw on some latex gloves? Quite frankly, I’d think it was bloody weird! But isn’t this fictional lady simply looking out for the health and safety of her dear vag? Back in the days when I dallied with boys (okay, boy singular) I would never have dreamt of having unprotected sex. Yet the idea of using some form of protection with a girl just seems ludicrous!

Is this bad? Should we lesbians be taking just as many precautions as our hetero counterparts?

More interestingly, are there any lady-lovers out there who regularly use dental dams before they do the dirty?

- R

P.S Whilst doing a spot of research on safe sex for lesbians and bisexuals, I came across one site that stated that lesbians were at “low risk” of unplanned pregnancy… Perhaps I’m being a tad dim, but I can think of no situation between my girlfriend and I in which one of us gets accidentally knocked up. Interesting.

P.P.S I feel like I should add a disclaimer to ensure you all that I of course would never condone unprotected sex. Protection and regular STD checks all the way! Don’t forget, dinky dykes – don your dam to dissuade diseases!


  1. I'm fairly new to lesbian sex but I haven't practised in safely and have no intention to. Licking latex? No thanks!

    1. I'm not surprised. Whipping out a sheet of rubber is a bit of a mood killer!

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