Friday, 15 March 2013

Guiding Light



So, you may know that I am a gold star. (Hooray!)

But, as a girl, I am occasionally subjected to “girl talk”. And not just any girl talk…straight-girl girl talk. Where words like “penis” and “blow job” are thrown about.

So despite my lack of first-hand knowledge of straight-sex…I know some weird odd details and quirks of hetero bedroom going ons.

Gross

But one thing repeatedly comes up.

The lights.

The lights must always be off.

What could possibly be better than seeing a lady all stretched out and naked? (I literally have no answer.)Why would anyone want to turn off the light to that wonderful sight?

http://favim.com/orig/201105/27/bed-dark-girl-legs-light-photography-Favim.com-56840.jpg

Who is it that’s insisting on this cloak of darkness? Guys surely wouldn’t ever pass up a chance of looking at boobs. Maybe the girls are just self conscious about their weird sex faces or perhaps someone is suffering from the age old fear of looking fat?

I’ve heard the stories of guys having to “guide it in” with their hand because they can’t tell where they’re going.

I’m sure that’s sexy.

Lights people! Leave them on!

Maybe it’s just because we ladies need to see what we’re doing, but I’ve never heard a lezzie lady lover talk about fussing with the lights.

When would this fussing even take place? Is it premeditated? You think about some sexy times with your partner, you turn off the lights and blindly stumble back to the bed and commence some blind groping? What if it’s spontaneous sex? What a way to break the mood!

Mmmm               
                                       Yeah
                                                                        That’s good
                                                                                                                                Hang on, lemme turn off the lights


*Stumble stumble*

                                       *Whack* 

                                                              *Ow*   

                                                                                   *Shit*
                                                                                                
Now where were we?

I tend to break the mood in other ways. Like my arm getting cramp and falling on R’s face. Or accidentally ending up eating my own hair. More often than not it’s because I accidentally hit my head on the wall.

There’s no way I need to be fussing with the lights on top of all of that.

-T