Friday, 13 September 2013


So I’ve joined a lesbian society over here in Germany, and this week was the first meeting.

I arrived a bit early and started chatting to this adorable little group of 4 butch lesbians who knew about 10 words of English between them. It was lovely. More people started to arrive and everyone said my German was really good and I felt all happy and welcomed.

Then another girl arrived, who we’ll call X.

X went to Uni in London, and so as soon as she found out I was from England, she wouldn’t speak any German to me. Worse, she insisted on translating things that other people were saying… despite the fact I could understand them perfectly well by myself.

But somehow, in the last 30 minutes of the meeting, I got literally cornered by X, where she really loudly insisted on explaining simple German grammar rules to me which was actually a little insulting.

But because she kind of monopolised my time and was only speaking in English, no one else wanted to come as join in our conversation, leaving me trapped in the corner with this scary woman who kept saying it must be nice for me to speak in English for a while. To which I replied, “No, because I’m here to learn German..." which she dutifully ignored and changed the subject to how I was dressed weirdly.

I was also regaled with the wonderful tale of her ex-boyfriend and how he was a prick because he cheated on her. I commiserated with her, which was a huge mistake because I then got pestered with questions about R for a full 15 minutes, despite my protests that I really, reeeeally didn’t want to talk about it.

But she kept saying we were in the same boat because her boyfriend of 2 months cheated on her, which was obviously the same as my girlfriend of 2 years. She kept insisting we meet up sometime, but I neatly avoided it, citing work as my excuse because to me, sitting over a cup of tea and discussing recent and shitty exes is not my idea of fun.

So I left the meeting feeling like I’d not made any friends, hadn’t made a great first impression and feeling like crap because X had dredged up all my carefully buried feelings about R.

So not exactly a fantastic start.

At the end, all I wanted was to come home, maybe have a hug and a moan to someone. But out here, it doesn’t feel like home yet, I haven’t got anyone to hug and no one was on Skype to moan to.

So I apologise for my self-pitying post.

...I just wanted to sulk for a bit.


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