Saturday, 30 August 2014

Where Is Home?

Have you ever noticed how there is a weirdly high proportion of gays in the hospitality industry?

I’ve started my new job and my only friend so far is the gay waiter E, who hides with me behind the bar so we can gossip about the particularly annoying customers of the day.

Aside from E, there’s another gay manager, a sous chef who I heard mention a boyfriend yesterday and another chef who looks creepily like an ex-girlfriend of mine.

So I’m settling in, but I forgot just how difficult waitressing is. Not just the ridiculous hours and running about for 10 hour shifts, but the being polite to people who have no respect for you while you smile and parrot the phrase, “let me go get my manager for you”.

So although the company is lovely and the staff are nice, the job is slowly breaking my spirit.
The work is so tiring and the hours so late that by the time it rolls around to my days off all I want to do is lie in bed with pop tarts and True Blood, which in all honesty is generally what I do. Rather than being active and going out, joining clubs and making friends, I hole up in my room, crack out the Netflix and eat copious amounts of ice cream, while complaining to R that my feet hurt.

Good God I’m attractive.

In more positive news, R got herself a fancy new job in my shiny new city and has sent me out on an epic search for a flat, which in turn has upset Sister 1 who doesn’t want me to move out yet because I understand her need for brie, wine and loud sing-a-longs to musicals better than her fiancĂ© does.

So I’m being tugged between the 2 ladies I’m closest to in my life, but really I’ll be happy anywhere that has wine and baking supplies.

So where do I go? Do I stay with my here and enjoy time with my sister who I've barely seen over the past year? And after she's been so kind to set me up in a room, give me a job, provide me with wine and give me a Great British Bake Off watching partner, I don't feel like I can instantly whisk off to go and shack up with R.

Everyone keeps warning me not to rush with R. To take my time.

And maybe people are right. But I have over a 2 year history with R, and we've been back together for 6 months. So to me this doesn't feel like rushing.

But of course I understand why they fret. 

It's sweet that they're fretting, really.

And maybe it's good, because it's making me step back and think about things with R...and for me, it's still coming up trumps. Even with people telling me to be careful and go slow...I'm still all in for this "take 2" on things.

I realise I have not kept up my promise of writing more frequently or more interestingly….

The last few weeks of my life have literally just been filled with work, wine and endless hours scouring online for a house that isn’t a shit hole or costs over £700 a month.


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