Wednesday, 17 September 2014

The Way I am

A few weeks ago I got an invitation for an interview at a school.

It had regular hours. Decent pay. And the grounds were gorgeous.
I was very excited.

But there was a problem.

My current job.

My current job where I work for my sister…

My current job where I work for my sister and had only been there for 4 weeks.

So after plucking up the courage to tell my Sister I would potentially be leaving, I was fully prepared to face her wrath.

Instead, she simply told me they were one of the most homophobic schools for miles around, and that I should be careful.


But, my being gay hasn’t had an impact on my working life to date. The only time it was mildly uncomfortable was when I worked with R as a receptionist at Uni and our boss was a born-again Christian who replied to casual phrases like “Better knock on wood” with, “I don’t need to knock on wood, I have God.”


Good for you.

So the 2 years we worked there, we just left our Boss in her blissful  little cloud of thinking that we were best gal pals who lived together and held hands a lot.

There have been times when I’ve been tempted to lie about R’s gender, or when I’ve decidedly stuck to gender neutral pronouns.  When ringing private Landlords trying to find R and me a new place, answering questions about R led me to fervently wishing that she had a more Unisex name so I could stop using stupid phrases like “my partner”, which for some reason, I hate.

So there have been times, in part time jobs or talking to elderly people who I shamefully immediately assume are more likely to be homophobic, that I scooch  around the particulars of my relationship when people ask. 

Because I’m perfectly okay with smudging technicalities to make people I barely see or know, feel more comfortable. Also it prevents me from potential conflicts or confrontations and ridiculous comments like “My Aunt is gay…maybe you know her?”

But in a full time job, a place where you’re meant to be making hard core grown up friends…would I still be able to do that?

Because I’d already decided that I wasn’t going to lie. I’ve been out the closet too long and feel no shame at who I am to outright lie to people.

So if I’m unwilling to lie…would I be okay working in this place where it seemed likely a great proportion of the staff would be less than thrilled with me and my *ahem* life choices? Where the ladies would scuttle away from me in the toilets or blush when I compliment their shoes and inform me that they’re married.

Who knows?

Because I didn’t get the job anyway.

So I’ll happily stay in my little gay friendly job and coo whenever the regular dykey old couple come into the restaurant and feed each other soup.



  1. Isn't to terrible to have that fear?

    I hate the word 'partner' and usually manages to complicate the situation further. Whilst having a massage recently I was asked if I was at the Spa with my husband, to which I of course replied 'yes', to save any embarrassment for the lady rubbing my bare flesh. Then had to concoct a name for my husband (Matt) and plan for if she asked any further questions.

    Thankfully she did not.