So someone came out to me a few weeks ago.
A dykey lady from work, X, who is lovely, and who I had pegged as a fellow gay right away.
So her coming out shouldn’t have been a surprise, right?
A load of us work peeps were out at a pub. The subject of gayness came up and people commented on how they never would have guessed that I was gay.
Fair enough. Nothing new there. I’m pretty femme-y. It's not like I fit the stereotypical butch or "scene lesbian" picture a lot of people have in their heads.
...Then X jumped in. She agreed. She said everyone always thought she was gay just because she had short hair and was muscled.
So while I nodded and agreed and said it was all so cliché, my mind was reeling a little.
This, I thought, must be how straight people feel when we gays come out to them. The slight shift of how you view someone in your mind. Quickly running back over things you’ve said to them that now seem really embarrassing.
So although I really hope X didn’t notice anything strange going on with my facial expression when she was explaining about how guys tended to avoid her because of her butcher look, I just sat and felt guilty about immediately assuming she was gay in the same way other people assume I’m straight.
So, I feel a little bad about being so presumptuous when it comes to guessing people’s sexuality. I know I hate it when people do it with mine...but apparently that doesn't stop me doing it to other people.
So although I am still mildly lamenting the loss of a fellow lesbian at work, I'm looking at joining some more LGBT groups with R, where I presume it will be okay for me to assume they’re gay.