Lately I’ve been a walking incubator for all manner of mucus producing diseases. So I’ve been banished from work until I stop being an imminent threat to all healthy peoples.
In my sick, snotty shame, I have been watching all my old embarrassing shows while drinking endless cups of tea and whining to my cat about how sick I feel. (He’s not very sympathetic. I just had him neutered.)
I realise it’s the straightest most girliest program ever, but it’s a secret, guilty pleasure of mine that I haven’t indulged in in a while, since I’ve only just finished re-watching all of the L word and Grey’s Anatomy…
I’m watching Sex and the City.
I’m going to assume, since SATC finished 10 years ago, that everyone knows the basic story line, but if anyone has great plans to watch it, beware that this post contains spoilers for seasons 3 and 4.
In season 3, Carrie cheats on a boyfriend, and about a season later, she gets back with him. And as I’m watching these episodes I start to see all the parallels in our situations.
Carrie asks questions throughout episodes. In one, her newly instated boyfriend is acting grumpy and weird and she worries that he’s fretting over what she did and how he’ll always worry about it.
She asks: “Can you ever really forgive, if you can’t forget?”
And can you?
Now I’m not talking about myself here. I’ve long come to terms with mine and R’s history. We’re approaching our one year anniversary of her flying to Germany to take the first terrifying steps of fixing the tattered wreck of our relationship.
I’m talking about everyone else.
And although I understand that many people in my life will only accept that maaaaaybe I haven’t made a mistake until we’re toasting at my 10th wedding anniversary, it's still odd to me that I've moved on...few others seem to.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m a private person who doesn’t tend to write on facebook with things like:
OMG! R is so totes romantic.
Babez made me breakfast <3 <3 <3
Or post hundreds of happy couple/inappropriate photos of us snuggled up together.
In fact the last thing R posted on my facebook timeline was that I was looking particularly gross and sick today.
(What a charmer.)
So how can I do it?
How can I let people know I’m in a happy, stable relationship without either posting it on a public forum or shouting “I’M SO VERY SATISFIED AND CONTENT WITH R” at people?
Somewhere there must be a middle ground that doesn't involved me needing to share details of my life or relationship...or talk to other people in general.